


I Love Him, I Love Him Not

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-27
Updated: 2007-02-21
Packaged: 2019-01-19 06:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12405279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: "There are but two tragedies in life, one is not to get your hearts greatest desire, the other is to get it."-George Bernard Shaw





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

“JAMES POTTER I SWEAR IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I WILL THOUROULY AND MOST DEFINETLY CURSE YOU SO BAD THAT NOT ONLY YOU BUT YOUR WHOLE PAST AND FUTURE BLOOD LINE WILL BE IN SHOCK!”

 “Lily? You do realize that didn’t make much sense.”

 “It made perfect sense if you know what it means.” 

“Okay, you are right it does make sense.” Jayden knew to agree with Lily when ever she was like this for one reason. You never ever, under no circumstance, make an angry Lily turn her anger on to you, and Lily was very very angry for James Potter, her arch rival had just pulled the most hilarious but cruel prank on her.

 “Oh that boy makes me want to kill!”

 “Well you have to admit that it is pretty funny.” And at that moment Jayden knew she had made a mistake. 

“No no no Jayden, funny is telling a joke, funny is not an ignorant asshole and his buddies making my life a living hell.” 

“He only does it because he likes you and doesn’t know how else to express it.” 

“Then he is a immature school boy that is stupid.” 

“Well out of all your insults I have to say that that is your very worst my Lily flower.” Lily whipped around and to her horrible dismay found herself face to face with James Potter. 

“I would wipe that little smirk off your face if I were you.” Jayden warned James as Lily face grew from anger to complete and total rage. 

“Why its not as if Lilykins here can hurt her beloved Jamesy poo.” 

“You wanna bet?”

 “5 knuts?” 

“Deal” 

“Now Lily think rationally you are Head Girl do you really think that cursing someone in the Common Room is a really good idea, you can get you badge taken away.” Lily seemed to hesitate. 

“Lily, think of all those times he has pranked us and annoyed us. Remember how big headed he is and how incredibly ignorant, and immature and stupid he is.” Jayden urged her on playing off what Lily said earlier. All hesitation was gone now and she was back to deciding which curse to use on him. 

“Come on Lily look at this face. Can you honestly hurt this face?”

 “Yes yes look at his face, think about how much hatred you feel for him and then channel it.” 

Lily’s wand was now pointed directly at him and the words that would land him in the hospital wing for at least a day on her lips, and then she dropped her wand.

 “Lily what are you doing, curse him, make him cry.”

 “No, I don’t think I will.”

 “What?”

 “What?” 

“I love him, I’ve always loved him.”

 “WHAT?” Jayden couldn’t believe what she was hearing. 

“You hear that Jayden she loves me.” James wrapped his arms around Lily’s waist, and Lily leaned into kiss him.

I woke up in sweat, “Well that’s new.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Discalimer: I own only what you do not recognize

_I Love Him, I Love Him Not_

Chapter 2 

“Dreams don’t mean anything, right?” I asked Jayden the next day while we were walking down to the Great Hall for breakfast. Ever since I woke I have been telling myself exactly that. 

“Well everyone has their own belief but I think that they do. I think they are your sub conscious mind trying to tell you something.” Why does she have to do that. 

“What if it is just a silly dream that you know would never happen?”

 “What dream are you talking about Lily?” 

“Oh no dream in particular it just I know you are into all of that Divination stuff and I just wanted to catch up.”

 “Oh okay, well I don’t know maybe you can ask Professor Zuni.” Thank God Jayden isn’t that smart. Don’t get me wrong I love Jayden she is my absolute best friend and I normally tell her everything, it’s just that if she found out about the dream I would be in for a long day of poking and giggling when ever Potter is around and I can’t have that so for now I thank God that Jayden is just a little bit dense.

 “Yeah maybe.” By then we had reached the Great Hall and found a seat at the Gryffindor table. 

“Hello Jayden, Lily Flower.” I groaned I was not rested enough to deal with him yet. 

“Why don’t you ever let us have our breakfast in peace?” I sighed. It is the same every morning, he comes over says hello, uses one of his ridiculous nicknames for me, asks me out, I reject him and then he say, “Well, better luck tomorrow then” and then goes and joins his mates. 

“I just came over here to say hello and ask how you are Lilykins.” 

“I was just fine before you came along.” 

“Well then best be off.” Then he walked away and sat down. 

“Did he?” 

“No” 

“Wow” 

“I know” 

“Maybe he is over you?”

 “Finally” NO no no he can’t be over me. I don’t understand, for five long years he has asked me out at least once a day and now all of a sudden he just stops? No this isn’t right. Wait why am I over reacting to this. I have wanted this for so long, I have wished, and hoped I even tried to use magic to get him off my back, and now that he finally is I can’t help but want him to ask me out? It’s not like I would have said yes to him. I don’t like him, that was just a dream, a stupid dream. A dream that meant nothing, absolutely nothing.

 “Lily, Lily LILY?” Jayden yelled taking me away from my thoughts.

 “What?”

 “Are you okay?”

 “Fine, why don’t I look fine, I feel fine.” 

“Yeah, okay how much sleep did you get last night?”

 “I don’t know, maybe not how much I normally get but I’m fine.” 

“Maybe you should go get some rest, I’ll tell Professor Slughorn that you don’t feel well.” 

“But I feel-”

 “Fine, yeah I know.” 

“Well since that we have established that I feel fine lets go to class.”

 “Okay.” Jayden probably thinks I’ve gone crazy. 

                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Look at her Prongs she is so shocked.”

 “I know that dream potion was just what I needed, now she thinks that her subconscious mind is telling her that she likes me.”

 “You are playing with fire Prongs.”

 “Yeah look at her hair how its all fiery.”

 “I didn’t mean it that way. You don’t know her like I do, she will never forgive you if she finds out.” Mooney, sometimes I swear he is stupid. 

“She already hates me so what’s the point.” 

“The point is you can’t trick someone into liking you?”

 “Why not?” 

“My god Prongs, you don’t know anything about woman.” 

“Mooney why are get all worked up about this?” Padfoot came to my rescue. 

“Because this isn’t just some stupid prank, you are messing with her mind, you have crossed the line.” 

“Well is it a thin line?”

 “No its a pretty darn big line.” 

“Padfoot, Wormtail, did you see a line?” 

“Nope.” Wormtail just shook his head. 

“Well I just can’t stand back and watch you manipulate my friend.” 

“Wow, wow Mooney what are you going to do?” 

“Tell her.” Panic, panic is all I feel. 

“No no you can’t tell her?” 

“Why not?” I could bring up that we keep secrets for him, but that would be hitting below the belt and I can’t do that to him even if I am angry with him.

 “Please please don’t tell her I won’t use the dream potion again.”

 “You swear?” Damnit, Mooney knows my weakness. 

“I swear.” 

“Fine I won’t tell her, but you better make sure she doesn’t find out some other way, because if she does then you won’t have a chance in hell.”

 “Now there’s a good mate.” Padfoot slapped Mooney on the back and smiled.

 

_A/N Thanks to everyone who is reading and you know I really do love reviews they make the sunshine._


	3. Chapter 3

Ever since that dream I can't get my mind off of you know who, James that is. I don't think I really like him it is just that I am fixated with him, he is like one big mystery that needs to be solved and boy do I want to solve it, but I can't. I know I can't because if I go up to him he is just going to get all cocky and be like, I'd always known you'd come around, or something along those line, and that would only embarrass me, or make me hate him again. He hasn't asked me out since that day either, I'm getting so fed up with him. How can he just stop liking me. Okay that sounded conceited, but really its not like I just got ugly all of a sudden. I'm confused, and I really need to talk to someone, other then myself about this. I can't talk to Jayden because she wouldn't understand, I can't talk to Alice, because I barely know her, and I can't talk to Veronica or Callie because they are some of those twits that pine after James. When did I start calling him James. 

"Hey Lily" 

"Hey Remus" REMUS, no he is one of James' best friends, Potter's best friend, he was my friend first though. 

"Hey Remus wait up," 

"Yeah Lily?" 

"Uhm I wanted to talk to you about something." 

"Okay shoot" This is going to be awkward.

 "Can we go some where no one can over hear?" He gave me a weird look. I knew this was a bad idea. 

"Sure follow me." He brought me to there bedroom. "Okay shoot."

 "No one is here right." 

"No James and Sirius are down at Quidditch and Peter’s got detention." 

"Okay good, Well Remus, you are my longest friend and I love you. Plus you are a twit nor will you make fun of me, and I need to tell this to someone so I came to you." 

"You aren't pregnant right?"

 "No I'm not pregnant, why on Earth would you think that?" 

"I don't know, it's the first fear that came into my mind."

 "Okay well I'm not pregnant." 

"Good"

 "You have to promise to not say a word of what I am about to talk to you about."He nodded. 

"Say it."

 "I promise to not say a word of what you are about to tell me."

 "Good, now, you know what, I feel a lot better I'm just gonna go." 

"Lily," 

"Yeah"

 "Come sit back down and tell me what is going on." 

"Well alright, so its like this, I think I failed a test."

 "Lily," 

" I do I think I failed a test." 

"That is what you dragged me up here for, that is what you don't what anyone else to know." 

"Yeah."

 "Lily" He used his stern voice, I hate that stern voice. 

"I hate that stern voice." 

"I know that is why I used it."

 "Why do you have to know me so well."

 "Because I grew up with you, now if you don't tell me I'm going to have to force it out of you." 

"How are you going to force it out of me?" 

"I have my ways." 

"Well you just going to have to force it out of me then." He put up one finger and the made a buzzing noise which could only mean one thing, the tickle finger. 

"No no not that"

"Well you just going to have to tell me." I shook my head.

 "Okay then, BZZZZZZZZZZZZZ" 

"No ahhh" He pinned me. "Ahh ahahahaha, stop, please stop, ahahahaha" 

"Tell me."

 "NEVER" 

"Then you will be tickled." 

"No ahh hahahahahaha."

 "Ahem." We both looked at the door to see James and Black standing there starring at us. Surprisingly James had a look of hurt on his face. Then I looked at the position Remus and I were in, He was on top of me with on hand in my armpit the other under my knee. Not the greatest position to be in but he was tickling me, plus he is like my brother. Remus got up. 

"Hey mates we were just playing around." 

"Uhuh, Lily will you excuse us?" Black asked me. James was just starring at Remus.

 "Sure why not" I hurried out of the door. On my way down the stairs I heard a "How could you" and "She is like my sister." but by the time I got down to the common room their voices were drowned out all together. 

"Hey" Jayden called from the sofa. 

"Hey,"

 “You sound exasperated.” 

 “You know how Remus is like my brother.”

 “Yeah,” 

“Well we were just fooling around and then James and Sirius walked in and now they think something is going on between us.” 

“But there isn’t.” 

“No of course not.” 

“What were you guys doing?”

 “He was tickling me. I mean we were in a rather strange position but they should know that we are like family.”

 “Well James loves you so he just jumped to a conclusion.” 

“James does not love me, he hasn’t talked to me in about two weeks.” Even though I know it shouldn’t, my heart jumped at the sound of him loving me. 

“Trust me he loves you.” Damn it did it again. 

“Love is a strong word Jayden.” Before Jayden could reply James was marching down the stairs, across the common room and out through the portrait hole. 

 “What was that.”

 “Remus must not have been able to convince him.” Then Remus came down the stairs and motioned for me to join him by the fire. “What's up?” 

“James thinks we are together.” 

“That’s crazy.” 

“I know it absolutely mad, but hey that's James.”

 “Should I go talk to him?” 

“I don’t know but until he comes to his sense I’m in the dog house, so to speak.” 

“Right, okay, I’m going to talk to him. Any idea where he is?"

“Outside, probably by the lake.” 

“Kay, I’ll see you later.” 

“Good luck, you’ll need it, he wouldn’t listen to me” 

 

I saw him sitting next to a tree near the lake. He was lying down looking up into the threatening clouds. 

“Uhm James?” He looked up but then turned away as soon as he saw me. “Can I sit down?” He didn’t respond. I sat down anyway. I had no idea what to say. “Remus and I have been friends for like ever, seriously I consider him as my brother because practically every memory I have has him in it.” No response. “I don’t know why your making such a big deal about me and my friend playing around anyway. What's it to you?” 

“What's it to me? What's it to me? You know for a smart girl you can be really stupid Lily. Do you honestly have no idea why I’m mad at Remus?” 

“Because you like me” This wasn’t my voice. This was a voice of a little girl, scared of what would happen next. 

“No, no Lily because I love you. I love you and it is taking every fiber of my being not to take you right now and kiss you madly, or going up there and kicking Remus’ ass.” He let go of my hands, I don’t know when he took hold of them but I wanted him to hold them again. Then I was kissing him, passionately, I kissed him like I had never kissed anyone else. His eyes widened with shock but then he kissed me back and soon we were one, spiritually and physically. Regrettably I had to breathe so I pulled away. “Wow” I had no clue in what to do or say my head told me to run away but my body told me to stay in his arms. I stayed quiet. “Are you going to say anything?” 

“What can I say?” 

“I don’t know. It is just customary for people to say something.” 

“Customary?” 

“Yeah you just kissed me with, out warning, and I have to say that that was the best kiss I ever had.” I smiled. Who is this person. Lily Evans would not do this, I would not just kiss James Potter like that. But I did and now I have to say something. I should never have kissed him. 

“I should never have kissed you.” His face fell. Oops mistake. 

“Are you saying you regret kissing me?” 


End file.
